When governments don't understand the web

When governments don't understand the web
Between school and a book and other blogging, I've been neglecting this site. But this afternoon I posted an item on my H5N1 blog that has a lot to do with webwriters' problems: When governments don't understand the web.

Between school and a book and other blogging, I've been neglecting this site. But this afternoon I posted an item on my H5N1 blog that has a lot to do with webwriters' problems: When governments don't understand the web.

Hazards of Online Writing
Via the New York Times: E-Mail Is Easy to Write (and to Misread). Much of the article applies, I suspect, to web text as well. Excerpt (but read the whole article and follow the links): The advantage of a phone call or a drop-by over e-mail is clearly greatest when there is trouble at hand. But there are ways in which e-mail may subtly encourage such trouble in the first...

Via the New York Times: E-Mail Is Easy to Write (and to Misread). Much of the article applies, I suspect, to web text as well. Excerpt (but read the whole article and follow the links):

The advantage of a phone call or a drop-by over e-mail is clearly greatest when there is trouble at hand. But there are ways in which e-mail may subtly encourage such trouble in the first place.

This is becoming more apparent with the emergence of social neuroscience, the study of what happens in the brains of people as they interact. New findings have uncovered a design flaw at the interface where the brain encounters a computer screen: there are no online channels for the multiple signals the brain uses to calibrate emotions.

Face-to-face interaction, by contrast, is information-rich. We interpret what people say to us not only from their tone and facial expressions, but also from their body language and pacing, as well as their synchronization with what we do and say.

Most crucially, the brain’s social circuitry mimics in our neurons what’s happening in the other person’s brain, keeping us on the same wavelength emotionally. This neural dance creates an instant rapport that arises from an enormous number of parallel information processors, all working instantaneously and out of our awareness.

In contrast to a phone call or talking in person, e-mail can be emotionally impoverished when it comes to nonverbal messages that add nuance and valence to our words. The typed words are denuded of the rich emotional context we convey in person or over the phone.

Web text versus web copy
Sometimes it pays to ego surf. I just checked myself on Google Blogs (using the chronically misspelled version of my last name). The search came up with some intriguing notes on a blog called Information Squid: AEAChicago2007 - “Writing the User Interface” by Jeffrey Zeldman. The notes are just that, clearly jotted down as Zeldman was speaking, but they convey a lot. Just at the end I found this: how...

Sometimes it pays to ego surf. I just checked myself on Google Blogs (using the chronically misspelled version of my last name). The search came up with some intriguing notes on a blog called Information Squid: AEAChicago2007 - “Writing the User Interface” by Jeffrey Zeldman.

The notes are just that, clearly jotted down as Zeldman was speaking, but they convey a lot. Just at the end I found this:

how do you reconcile people-read-less with SEO[search engine optimization]?

cutting the fat and natural language help both

so does using markup so important words are in headlines

can sometimes get funding for editing content by saying will help SEO

what are some questions to determine what’s brand-appropriate?

discovery process. what materials have you already produced
about yourselves?

what do you know about your stakeholders? compare with real users.

there are no good books about copy

there are good ones about writing for the web, but they don’t address
these issues - i.e. Crawford Killian, Writing for the Web
Zeldman is thinking of writing this

pronouns in copy? used to be more we, now with blogging more I

Of course I'm delighted about the compliment from Zeldman. He's one of the best thinkers about the web and on the web. I would love to see (and buy) his book on web copy. But the field isn't entirely empty. Nick Usborne has done some real pioneering in this field.

Web copy is text designed to sell; text designed to inform and persuade is also copy. So the two genres overlap to a considerable extent.

That last note about pronouns reflects an important point. Good copy in any medium needs the "you attitude," in which the writers pay more attention to the reader than to themselves or their organization. (The We We Monitor, also listed in Webwriting Resources, provides a useful reality check on corporate egomania.)

So to the extent that web writers in general, and web copywriters in particular, talk about themselves, they put themselves at a disadvantage.

But the "I" of a corporate blogger may evade this hazard. We turn to such an individual when we want a relationship with an informed person who clearly wants a relationship with us. So he or she can rant on about "I think this" or "I wonder about that" and still maintain our interest and respect.

I've seen this happen on a couple of my own blogs. Ask the English Teacher is almost entirely user-driven: The posts are based on visitor questions about English usage, and my answers reflect my own (sometimes cranky) views on good usage. (Some commenters beg to differ with those views, I'm glad to say.)

On H5N1, which is essentially a clipping service about avian flu, some visitors credit me with far more authority than I have. A few even email me to ask when the pandemic will start. This is actually a little scary. So when I do venture an opinion, it's usually with the reminder that I'm an elderly Canadian teacher of business writing, not an epidemiologist.

The key seems to be to convey, both verbally and nonverbally, that the corporate blogger really has the customer/visitor's best interests at heart. Verbally, the text should be clear, simple, suitable in tone, and you-oriented. Nonverbally, the site itself and the text layout should be inviting, navigable, and full of "good news surprises" like links and other resources that the visitor finds useful.

If anything, the nonverbal aspects of the site are likely to be more persuasive than anything we actually put in our copy...because when people sense a clash between the verbal message and the nonverbal message, they believe the nonverbal message every time.

Holiday Wishes
Christmas Eve is not yet here in North America, and when it arrives I'm going to be very busy. We have family and friends coming for dinner, so I won't have much chance to blog. But the first thing I'll do in the morning is to start a batch of pulla, a Finnish coffee bread that for decades has been our Christmas breakfast. You're welcome to make it yourself: Download...

Christmas Eve is not yet here in North America, and when it arrives I'm going to be very busy. We have family and friends coming for dinner, so I won't have much chance to blog.

But the first thing I'll do in the morning is to start a batch of pulla, a Finnish coffee bread that for decades has been our Christmas breakfast. You're welcome to make it yourself:

Download recipe_for_pulla.pdf

My old friend Merlin and I take this opportunity to wish you a very happy holiday and a new year full of surprises that make you laugh.

The Revolution is Being Blogged
The upheaval in Burma is setting off tremors on the web as well. An online magazine run by Burmese exiles in Thailand, The Irrawaddy, is covering the protests and the junta's crackdown: High tech gets the truth out. Excerpt: Despite efforts by the reclusive regime to seal off its cowed people from the outside world, pictorial evidence of the crimes now being committed in the junta’s name is getting out,...

The upheaval in Burma is setting off tremors on the web as well. An online magazine run by Burmese exiles in Thailand, The Irrawaddy, is covering the protests and the junta's crackdown: High tech gets the truth out. Excerpt:

Despite efforts by the reclusive regime to seal off its cowed people from the outside world, pictorial evidence of the crimes now being committed in the junta’s name is getting out, thanks in large measure to the ingenuity of young people with the high-tech know-how to sidestep official attempts to gag them.

Worldwide news services such as the BBC, CNN and Al Jazeera are illustrating news reports with clandestine pictures and video footage that confirm the extent of the tragedy now unfolding in Burma.

The Irrawaddy is supplying a wide range of TV stations and publications with material obtained by its own sources.

“We are getting e-mailed pictures taken by mobile phones and digital cameras,” said The Irrawaddy’s Managing Editor, Kyaw Zwa Moe. “They are being sent in by people who hold private e-mail accounts, usually with Skype or Gmail. They don’t worry about the risk they are running—they just want the outside world to know what is happening.”

Many of Rangoon’s Internet shops remained closed on Thursday as the violent suppression of the peaceful demonstrations entered its second day. Traders Hotel in the city center, popular with foreign business people and journalists, was searched room by room for evidence of Internet use.

The worldwide demand for information about what is happening in Burma is so large that traffic on The Irrawaddy’s own Web site has more than doubled since the crackdown began.

More than 1 million hits were recorded on Wednesday, closing the site down for a while.

The Irrawaddy Web site has had 22 million hits so far this month, more than double recorded in a normal month.

Meanwhile, The Independent in the UK is quoting Burma's bloggers bearing witness to the unfolding revolution. For a link to some of those blogs ( mostly in Burmese, but the photos are eloquent), go to Rule of Lords.

Political Bloggers as Webwriters: I
I would post here more often if I weren't such a political-blog addict. But I'm going to try to exploit this vice by posting an occasional critique of political blogs as examples of webwriting. After all, some of these blogs attract enough visitors to generate ad revenue, so they must be doing something right. Or are they? So I'll start this series with Hugh Hewitt's blog. Hewitt is an American...

I would post here more often if I weren't such a political-blog addict. But I'm going to try to exploit this vice by posting an occasional critique of political blogs as examples of webwriting. After all, some of these blogs attract enough visitors to generate ad revenue, so they must be doing something right. Or are they?

So I'll start this series with Hugh Hewitt's blog. Hewitt is an American right-wing commentator, and he shares the blog with several other writers of similar persuasion. Their politics aren't very attractive to me as a Canadian centre-leftist (which puts me, in American terms, out there somewhere beyond the Nepalese Maoists). But that's not the point.

An Attractive Layout
In its general layout, Hewitt's site is very attractive: an off-white background for black sans serif text, with colour used for headlines. Hewitt and his associate Dean Barnett write in (mostly) short paragraphs with (mostly) short sentences, and they break up their text with blank spaces between paragraphs and short quotes that stand out clearly from the main text.

Another poster, going by the name of Generalissimo, is much less effective in basic post design. The first paragraph of the post I've linked to is 19 lines long. Most of the sentences within that great block of text are individually short, concise, and readable—but they're buried alive. Better to break the text up into three or even four paragraphs.

Generalissimo's difficulties are compounded by the basic column width of posts, which allows lines that average around 15 words long. This is tolerable (barely) in paragraphs of 6 or 7 lines, but the whole site would benefit from a narrower text column.

That's because most readers are more comfortable with a line of 10 to 12 words. It's easier to track back and down to the next line.

Hypertext and Eye Candy
The Hewitt site uses links well. Links either have blurbs or are self-describing, and they don't distract from reading the text. Webwriting depends on orientation/information/action, and the site design is excellent on offering options for action: email the post, print it, take action, comment, or trackback.

On orientation, the site could improve. Navigation is a problem unless you're only there to read the latest posts. Some posts are long and take forever to scroll through, so it's hard to see what else is new on the site. Providing a click-through to a new page would permit putting more headlines on a single screen. Subheads, like the ones in this post, would also help to break up long posts and tell readers what to expect.

The text dominates a wide column on the left, with ads and other links in the narrow right-hand columns. The ads stand out fairly well (they'd better), but the links to archives and sympathetic blogs are hard to find and hard to read with blue text on a dark-grey background.

Graphics can certainly enliven a text-rich site, but a good computer-graphics person needs to have a quiet talk with the Hewitt posters. Site graphics tend to be too big (see the "stupidity meter"). A flyer for Mitt Romney's Iowa campaign is held up as "a nice piece of mail" when it's atrociously ugly.

Readability
I haven't run any of the Hewitt site text through Readability.info, but I'd expect it to come through very well. As mentioned, most sentences are short, punchy, and full of single-syllable words. Readability would improve still more with fewer monster paragraphs.

No doubt the site attracts thousands of readers a day, most of whom will patiently read much of what they find. The site is preaching to a particular choir, so readers will put up with design and writing flaws for the sake of the message.

Still, a site's fervent fans deserve the happiest experience the writers can provide. Even the idly curious (and the actively hostile) will recognize when a site shows respect for them by making the material attractive and accessible. This site is partway there, but could improve with a more navigable design and tight editorial consistency.

So as an example of webwriting, I'll give the Hewitt site a B.

On Foggy Writing
Dave Wood wrote to me the other day: I was somewhat aghast at finding one of my web pages coming in at a fog reading of 15+ - I'm just in the middle of revamping it now and am determined to have an index below 9. I did find a glitch in a site you'd recommended: Readability.info. It wasn't accepting my files and seemed to convert them to a read-only...

Dave Wood wrote to me the other day:

I was somewhat aghast at finding one of my web pages coming in at a fog reading of 15+ - I'm just in the middle of revamping it now and am determined to have an index below 9.

I did find a glitch in a site you'd recommended: Readability.info. It wasn't accepting my files and seemed to convert them to a read-only in my own files. I had to re-start the computer to get rid of that setting. It may be local to my computer?

I did find another site that worked better in that it didn't require me to upload my files but accepted a paste: Gunning Fog Index.

I've had a similar problem with Readability.info. When I try to upload a Word file, it instantly tells me it found no sentences. Put in a URL, however, and equally instantly it provides a number of readability indices. I've written to the owner of the site, and will pass along his response. (Update: He tells me the problem arose after a switch of servers. Look for a fix after Christmas.)

In the meantime, while it's helpful to know the general readability of your website's text, you can do a lot just by following a few simple practices:

1. Keep text columns narrow.
Ideally, the longest line in a column should be 15 words. Ten would be better.

2. Keep words short.
"Magic" is better than "prestidigitation." "Idea" is better than "conceptualization."

3. Keep sentences short.
On some of my blogs, I excerpt articles from print media. Too often, especially in the first paragraph, a sentence goes on for well over 20 words. I don't rewrite such sentences, but I wish I could. Bulleted lists can often replace strings of words and phrases.

4. Keep paragraphs short.
In most fonts used on websites, six or seven lines should be enough for a paragraph. Even if it's a long, complex idea that belongs in a long paragraph, break it up. A long, solid mass of screen text will discourage too many potential readers.

5. Put a little white space between paragraphs.
A short line at the end of a paragraph isn't enough of a break. Just one hit on the Return key can make a world of difference in helping people read your text.

6. Put important words and phrases in "hot spots."
Your sentence's beginning and end are its hot spots. Here readers pay most attention and react most strongly to what they read. Hot spots cool off in sentences buried in mid-paragraph. Then the end of the last sentence becomes hot again.

So a paragraph starting with "There" or "It" has wasted a good hot spot.

7. Use bolded subheads to help navigation.
A subhead every few paragraphs gives readers an overview of the whole document. A numbered list like this one, with bolded and numbered lines, is also easier to understand.

8. Break these rules when you must.
Follow them too closely, and your writing style may start to sound dull and predictable. Too many short sentences (and bulleted lists) will give you too many hot spots. That will make you sound as if you're ranting.

The above text, pasted into the Gunning Fog site, turns out to have a Fog index of 7.396. Out of 517 words, 47 have three or more syllables. I did some revision while writing it, but 7.396 seems like a reasonable level of clarity.

A link to the Gunning Fog Index site is now in the Webwriting Resources list in the left-hand column.

Not quite getting it
Via The New York Review of Books, an attempt to explain Blogs. It's a long article, mentioning ten books about blogging, but this is the author's key misunderstanding: Bloggers assume that if you're reading them, you're one of their friends, or at least in on the gossip, the joke, or the names they drop. They often begin their posts mid-thought or mid-rant—in medias craze. They don't care if they leave...

Via The New York Review of Books, an attempt to explain Blogs. It's a long article, mentioning ten books about blogging, but this is the author's key misunderstanding:

Bloggers assume that if you're reading them, you're one of their friends, or at least in on the gossip, the joke, or the names they drop.

They often begin their posts mid-thought or mid-rant—in medias craze. They don't care if they leave you in the dust. They're not responsible for your education.

Bloggers, as Mark Liberman, one of the founders of the blog called Language Log, once noted, are like Plato. :-) The unspoken message is: Hey, I'm here talking with my buddies. Keep up with me or don't. It's up to you.

Much of the article is a calm, patient explanation of what blogs are, intending for people who sincerely don't know. Both the quote above and that calm, patient explanation seem to me serious misunderstanding about writing for the web.

The review, Sarah Boxer, assumes that her readers need this background about blogging because they don't know anything about it. She assumes that bloggers don't provide this background because they've all already got it.

For some teenage blogger writing for an audience of six or seven, the background may indeed be there. But for anyone trying to gather and disseminate serious information through a blog, the background is always doubtful.

On my blog Writing Fiction, I see that a striking number of my visitors arrive on the site after googling "How many pages in a novel?" Whether or not they've written a novel, that question means they're novice novelists. They lack the exformation of more experienced writers.

Similarly, people visit my bird flu blog, H5N1, with wildly different levels of knowledge about the subject. Some are officials with the World Health Organization, others are epidemiologists, and most know nothing at all except that bird flu is supposed to be bad.

Apart from assuming a basic level of English reading ability, I don't expect anything from my readers. For both blogs I have to find some way to bring the newcomers up to speed without boring the experienced visitors. I really do feel responsible for my readers' education, and I don't want to turn anyone away.

So on H5N1 I provide an introductory page, showing the new visitor what's on the site. Currently, I'm also providing definitions of Indian words like lakh, crore, and panchayat, because they keep turning up in Indian newspapers' reports on bird flu.

On Writing Fiction, I keep responding to comments to the "How Many Pages" post, which I originally made three long years ago. I also provide a link to Write a Novel, a self-guided online course containing the basic materials now lost in the archives of Writing Fiction. (Look for it in the Writers' Resources list.)

Some blogs, like some graduate courses, can assume a cozy familiarity with little-known material. Shared exformation creates an intimate atmosphere, a feeling of belonging that newcomers may not share. If anything, they'll feel deliberately excluded.

But most webwriters, whether serious amateurs or professionals, can't afford to think about the happy few who share our private jokes and roomed with us in college. We have to reach as many people as possible, and to provide something useful for each of them.

So we have to write in simple, clear language. We have to format our material for easy navigation and response. We have to think about our visitors' needs, not our own egos. That, it seems to me, is the exformation that Sarah Boxer doesn't yet have.

Nielsen on the Top Ten Application-Design Mistakes
Jakob Nielsen has a good Alertbox post: Top-10 Application-Design Mistakes. Nielsen generally makes good sense, but I wish he would update his own Alertbox site. His links are helpful, and the basic black-on-white layout is inviting. The summary at the top is a good idea. He keeps most of his paragraphs short. But the text stretches across the screen when it would be more readable and inviting in a narrower...

Jakob Nielsen has a good Alertbox post: Top-10 Application-Design Mistakes.

Nielsen generally makes good sense, but I wish he would update his own Alertbox site. His links are helpful, and the basic black-on-white layout is inviting. The summary at the top is a good idea. He keeps most of his paragraphs short.

But the text stretches across the screen when it would be more readable and inviting in a narrower column. An average of 10 to 12 words per line seems to work best for webtext.

As Nielsen himself has taught us, we look for boldface subheads as navigation guides. But he uses boldface in the body of his paragraphs, which is distracting...and when a boldface phrase shares the line with an underlined blue link and regular text, the result is pretty messy.